It’s that time again. When the calendar begins anew and we reflect on the past year while looking forward to the new one. Then we make GOALS! In fact, this year- we’re making family resolutions.
But why set goals? Why make resolutions? Why talk about it as a family instead of just doing it yourself? I have four reasons for you why we think family resolutions are a good idea:
1) We all have dreams! Sometimes our kids have even bigger dreams than we do. Talking about our dreams can be a scary and vulnerable thing. Even four year olds can tell you what they want to be when they grow up or what they most want to do this week. This is literally something you can do with anyone, regardless of age!
2) We work better in community! It is so much easier to give up on something you are working on alone. It pushes you more to accomplish your goals when you have the accountability of community.
3) We are better versions of ourselves when we are encouraging and being encouraged by others! We can move through fear one step at a time. Helping each other along the path.
4) The goals do not have to be major life- changing things. Start small! Small changes can be huge! There are some seasons in life where we have to choose between making small steps forward or making none at all. Choosing a small step can sometimes be a great feat!
How do we implement family resolutions with other people? Here are four steps for setting up goals with a small group or family…
1) It is SO important to remember when you are talking about dreams and goals with people, especially our kids, that we are respectful of what they have to say. If your four-year-old tells you they want to be a tiger or a ballerina, or your roommate tells you they want to be a renowned speaker or pop star- do not laugh at them! Listening is step one.
2) Step two is focusing. We like to do that by picking a word for the year . It’s kind of like picking a theme. The point is to focus on something positive that you want to achieve for or within yourself throughout the year instead of first picking out all the negative things that you want to change. There are lots of resources out there for you as you work on this exercise together. Google ‘word for the year ideas’ if you need help picking or narrowing your list down to one word.
3) Step three is setting your goals. Small, reasonable goals, with reasonable time frames (and rewards!) so that you can stay motivated. My husband and I pick six goals for ourselves and six goals, or areas of focus, together. Sometimes they line up and go together, and sometimes they don’t.
a) Why six? To succeed at short term goals, I need a timeline and rewards. There are twelve months in a year. I would love to accomplish one new thing a month- but I know that will be too overwhelming and is unreasonable for me. In giving ourselves two months, we either get the hang of it the first month and help it stick around by reinforcing it the second month, or we have room to fail and try again. Either way- I can accomplish something in two months that I might not have been able to achieve in one.
b) Be creative and generous with your goals!! You can always change it up later. Think about what you can realistically accomplish and fun ways that you can complete your goals.
c) I’ll give you four very basic examples for a family resolutions chart… (G= Goal R= Reward)
| Timeline | Kid who wants to be a tiger | Teen who wants to improve GPA | Adult who wants to publish a book | Focus word
“Flourish” |
| Jan-Feb | G: Have 80% good days at school
R: Go to the zoo and see the tigers |
G: Get organized for all your classes. Set up a study schedule
R: A new planner or binder to help get organized |
G: Pick a theme, name your characters -just start somewhere and get a good outline.
R: Buy a new notebook and pens for yourself |
G: Flourish personally: Exercise 15 minutes five days a week.
R: Manicure |
| Mar-Apr | G: Be kind to siblings
R: Get books about working with tigers |
G: Get tutoring for the subjects where you are struggling.
R: Take a weekend off from schoo lwork entirely. |
G: Complete 6 chapters
R: Set a reward per chapter |
G: Flourish at work: Start working 15 minutes early every day
R: Buy something new for work |
| May-Jun | G: Take on a new chore
R: Get a new tiger toy |
G: Finish the school year strong! Go to a study group every week.
R: Go to those end of the year parties |
G: Complete 6 more chapters
R: Set a reward per chapter |
G: Flourish Spiritually: Write in a prayer journal five days a week
R: Go out to eat with prayer partner |
| Jul-Aug | G: Make your own tiger book with tiger facts.
R: Get the book bound |
G: Get summer tutoring in the subjects you were behind on this year to get ahead for the new year
R: Take a week off and relax! |
G: Write 3 more chapters and then…Time to edit and rewrite!
R: Take a few days off and read a new book |
G: Flourish Internally: Eat a vegetarian meal two days a week
R: Bake something new every week |
| Sept-Oct | G: Learn a new fact about a different animal every week and learn about veterinarians.
R: Get a new video about tigers |
G: Get re-organized and set up a new study schedule
R: New fun School Supplies |
G: Refine and send off your work!
R: Buy a new outfit for talking to important people. |
G: Flourish at home: Pick up five items every night and put them back where they go… Clean an extra five minutes every other day
R: Host a dinner party |
| Nov-Dec | G&R: Make a presentation about tigers that you can show your family during the holidays- Then take your family back to the zoo! | G: Put extra effort into homework, studying for midterms and start those end of the year projects early.
R: Something fun during Christmas break |
G: Respond to positive and negative feedback from publishers and set new goals.
R: Spoil yourself a little before the holidays |
G: Flourish relationally: Pick someone to catch up with every week
R: Take the person out for coffee |
4) The final step in creating goals with others is to DISPLAY them and set reminders! If you do not physically see your goals, well, they are easy to forget about!
a) Get creative!! Display these somewhere you will see them! You can paint it, print it out, make a dream/vision board, or write it out but get it up somewhere you can see!
b) Check out these awesome wall calendars!!! This is the first year we’re using one, but we’re really excited about it. So much so that we’re putting it up in our kitchen!
c) Give it a reasonable time frame, set alarms for reminders and timers to help you stay focused and on track.
*Set up some accountability for yourself! And remember to keep going! If you find your goal is too big, chop it down a bit! If you fail one day or month, or two, get back to it! Give yourself grace! You can change up things as you go- just keep going!*
The most marvelous thing about goals, to me, is that they can change. You set them, you decide. You can work on goals as the new year starts, as the school year starts, or even randomly in the middle of the month. You can do this with a small group, within a family, with your roommate- whomever you wish to encourage and be encouraged by. It is an excellent way to come together and not only set goals together, but spur each other on to improvement. I failed more than I succeeded last year, but I kept trying, and I did see improvement when the year was over. Here’s to a new year, new goals, and new opportunities!
“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing”- Walt Disney
Let’s get moving on some family resolutions together!
Resources:
-Here is a list of 155 rewards for yourself broken down into categories.
-Want more information about choosing one word for the year? Check out this site all about picking a word. There is even a book for you fellow bookworms.
-Here is an article about setting goals with your kids.
-Have no trouble setting goals, but never seem to finish? I’m only about a third of the way into this book, but I am sure it will be one of my favorite motivational books. Finish by Jon Acuff.
-Check out this organizational gear! Wall calendars, journals and more to help you track your goals and succeed.
Written by the Elf
If you enjoyed this post- check out our post on the Marie Kondo’s Netflix show Tidying Up here! Or our post about not quitting here!
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