Connect Movie from Kirk Cameron
Breakdown and Review written by the Elf:
The conversation about the dangers of technology has been heating up, especially where kids are involved. Kirk Cameron released a two day movie event called “Connect”. I was pleasantly surprised by the movie and its conclusions. I do wish that it would have been a little longer and talked about younger kids and technology more, and also given us a few more resources (but there are more on their website.) Considering Kirk Cameron has 6 teenagers himself and the tagline mentioned social media- it does make sense for that to be the primary focus. Here is my take on the gist of the movie- I highly suggest you watch it when it comes out to DVD/Digital.(even if you don’t have kids you can listen to the smooth voice of Ken Graves reminding you that God’s got this)
The Breakdown
Throughout the film Kirk Cameron interviews several different professionals as well as showing testimonials reminiscent of the “I Am Second” videos. The first professional was Dr. Kathy Koch, who emphasized the cultural lies we are being fed that frame our kids childhood. Our instant gratification, technology centered culture tells our kids that they are more important than others and their own authority. It also tells them they must have happiness and constant choices. Why do they even need teachers and parents when they can look anything up? The world is literally at their fingertips. It seems that positive authority figures are an increasing rarity and mentally overloaded/ absent parents are becoming more abundant.
He then interviewed Dr. Ian Armstrong, a neurosurgeon, about the teenagers developing brain. (Which makes sense because of the widely circulated research about tech being like a drug/ being compared to giving your kids cocaine.) They discussed how the teenage brain is in rapid development. There are two points of interest. 1) Parts of their brain are not fully developed yet, and 2) how they learn to process information now will directly impact how they make decisions as an adult. What about addiction and depression? It’s real and definitely related to length of screen time, social media use as well as pornography. (They also pointed out that pornagraphy is not just a bad habit, it is a physically harmful addiction.) These trigger dopamine in the brain and once you are hooked you need more and more to get the same kind of good feeling you got at first. This means that while adults have a difficult time setting boundaries on their own screen time- for kids it is nearly impossible for them to do on their own.
In the testimonial clips we heard different stories about the dark pockets of technology. Cyberbullying, disconnected friendships, predators, false sense of security, pornography, gaming addictions- these things are all very real. It is no longer a question of if a kid will see an image that they can’t process and were not meant to see, but when? We also heard from parents who had actually met on facebook, but were shocked by what their kids had gotten into technology wise.
Children are vulnerable and were not meant to be left unprotected. Kirk also interviews pastor Ken Graves about the spiritual side of this. He reminds us that our kids are going to be fighting spiritual warfare with or without technology. It is another tool that has positive and negative uses. Satan is indeed threatened by children who are trained and equipped. Not just for what they can become when they are grown, but for the power they hold right now. Personally, I was struck by the pastors next comments because this passage has stuck out to me recently. He mentioned that Christ’s strongest warning was issued about our care of children in Matthew 18. “‘Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. If anyone causes one of these little ones- those who believe in me- to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.’” (Matthew 18:4-6 NIV) We can and should pray confidently for our kids. Christ already paid the price and He strengthens us to be warriors for our children.
The digital world can be dark and scary but it isn’t going anywhere. Running away from the problems can actually do more harm than good (EG: taking all tech away from kids so they don’t know how you expect them to use it and they fall prey to predators on their own). So they wanted to know: does this come down to parents vs. facebook? Their answer was that it really does not- ultimately the battles come down to our kids’ hearts and how we can both protect and prepare them. To that end there were several questions posed along the lines of… Is God their center? Are they tethered to face to face friend and family relationships? And here is the real kicker… Are we modeling this all for them? Do they know that God is our center? Do they see us interacting with people? Are we engaged more with people or tech at home?
Stopping to Understand
Active parental involvement is what every expert agreed was the most important factor. It is so vital! They also openly acknowledged how difficult that is. One parent mentioned that as soon as you get the hang of an app there is an update or a newer app with more hidden features that throws you for a loop. So yes, it is hard. I love what Dr. Koch said about it…. (This is a paraphrase) ‘Parenting has always been hard. This is a new tool for us to understand and use. It is not their fault that they are being inundated with these cultural lies. We would also be impatient and entitled if we grew up like that. It is just what they are growing up in. But remember that the Bible is not being re-written for this new generation. They have to be taught how to grow up and learn just like every other generation.’
It seems like we have brought predators into our homes as well. We used to just have to be worried about the mall… now we can be worried about the park, the grocery store, and our kids phones/devices. One of the testimonials was from the founder of UKnowKids, Tim Woda, discussing how we need to be actively aware of who are kids are talking to online because we cannot know the quality of the character of the people they are interacting with online. Kids need help processing how to interact online and who with. Tim was shocked to find out that his son had been interacting with a predator online- when he found out, he hunted him and helped the police take him down. It was an amazing story and also an encouraging one. We will make mistakes- this is the first generation to grow up like this. They talked about the fact that we are blazing this new trail, but we are making an effort and that matters.
Kirk also talked to Mark Gregston who runs a residential counseling center for teens in TX called Heartlight, and he had some great insight on all of this. It seems easier to control all of our kids decisions and to not let them fail. We don’t want to see them mess up and hurt. But that is a part of life- and if we do not let them do it when they are young and we can help them recover, what happens? How are we modeling recovering from our own mistakes? He mentioned that we are looking at screens for an average of ten hours a day. So this is a significant aspect of their life where they need experience and help. They then compare this to driving. Who thinks it is a great idea to let 16 year olds out on the road in a car?! No one. But they have to learn and make mistakes to flourish as drivers. The Bible tells us to train up our children. Training is hard. We have to be speaking truth into their lives. They need to know that they are loved, valued, and have a purpose. We need to know who their identity is being shaped by and make sure that it is not solely from social media.
And while all of the scary facts and figures are true- we also have to remember to balance that out with other facts. The neuroscientist Dr. Armstrong reminds us that teenagers have amazing abilities. They can be world shakers and changers. They have more mental agility than we do as adults. Their brains are constantly adjusting and growing. We have the privilege of being able to help them learn how to process information now so that when they are in control they can make the right decisions, learn from them when they don’t and come talk to us or a trusted adult regardless. The movie had some great suggestions on connecting with your family. One mom puts down her phone for the first 30 minutes after her kids get home, some families have game nights with no screens, and some do phone free dinners. There are lots of ways that we can stay connected to our families with technology as well.
**A quick note on the good: Throughout the movie the benefits of technology were mentioned a few times, but I wanted to personally identify some of the ways that I have seen a positive impact. 1) As a teacher, I have seen differentiated online homework do some pretty cool things for students. Having homework that is tailored to where they are is an amazing tool. 2) I have seen pre-k and kinder kids who were not interested in letters, much less reading and writing, become interested because of educational apps that grabbed their attention. 3) While there are shallow interactions online, I have seen kids really communicating and enjoying each others company over Skype and Facetime. 4) Google Docs is an amazing way to work on a group project as an adult or in class. 5) More easily informed about social justice issues- any good cause really. 6) It can be a positive way for kids and adults to express themselves and be creative. 7) I love that I can stay in touch with friends and family that have moved and keep up with former students families. How have you seen the positives of today’s technological world?
Moving Forward
Kids need unconditional love from their parents and part of that is setting boundaries and examples. That will look different for everyone. There are a lot of resources to help you on your journey…
From the movie website: [Lots of resources on the site ←-]
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- Circle by Disney sponsored this movie and a whole lot more than just filter the internet. Check it out here.
- Dr. Kathy Koch has a lot of resources for parents. I even love the tagline for her website ‘Hope for the future- equipping the present’. She has videos, blogs, and the products tab will lead you to ‘Celebrate Kids’ with even more resources and books. Check it out here.
- Mark Gregston has a lot of resources for parents of teens on the Heartlight website and you can get his newest book about practical advice for struggling teens here.
- Pastor Ken Graves definitely has the voice for audiobooks and although I personally do not agree with several of his beliefs, I loved everything he said on this movie! You can connect with his weekly podcasts/videos here
- UKnowKids is another resource that helps parents control and monitor what is going on with their kids devices. This one has a monthly fee. It has a bunch of great reviews. Check it out here
- Kirk Cameron has some resources for marriage and family on his website- he also has a promo for Camp Firefly which is a free summer camp for terminally ill children and their families. Check it out here and consider sponsoring a kid! You can also browse the other resources.
- Here are articles by Scholastic and Parenting that have some helpful suggestions as well as more resources.
You can watch Connect now!
Questions to ask moving forward:
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- How and what are we praying for our kids? What specifically are we praying for?
- Who is at the center of our kids world? Our world?
- When are we spending time with God? When are our kids spending time with God?
- Do our kids know that choice is a privilege? Do they know where to seek wisdom?
- Do our kids view their parents and God as the authority in their life?
- Are we as a family tethered to real life, face to face relationships?Do we have ‘screen-free’ time as a family?
- How are we connecting to each other with our devices?
- How much time are we and our kids spending on our phones and what takes up most of our time and battery life? (You can find this your settings)
- What is shaping their identity? How do they see themselves?
- How much time do our younger kids spend on their devices and what apps are they playing? Where might our kids encounter pop up ads or ads for or with negative images?
- Who are our kids texting the most and what are they talking about? A quarter of kids end up involved in nude texting at some point during their teenage years and it is a quick and slippery slope. Do you have rules, or have you talked about the type of images that are ok to send people?
- Do you or your child constantly post about your location online? How can you monitor this better than a predator?
- How is truth being spoken into our kids lives? How are we encouraging them?
- How are you as a parent being encouraged on your parenting journey? How are we setting an example about leaning into God’s word?
- How are we, as parents, letting our kids fail and learn?
- How can we help our kids identify cyberbullying and encourage their friends?
And finally… I love how Kirk Cameron ended the movie… “There’s nothing you can’t get through as a family. Stay connected.”
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