It’s tough being a kid with limited communication skills. Or a pet with attitude but no words. Fortunately a lot of the things they get whiny about are cute and laughable… I think God designed them that way for their survival. Thanks to everyone who submitted something for this blog contest! Sit back, relax and enjoy some funny whine this Saturday morning…
The funniest complaints about food, school, safety and pet owner ship we’ve heard recently…
Food:
I like to think I’m beyond hangry whining as an adult… but I’m not. These kids are cute about it though…
1- What’s not cute? Our friend was working the Chick Fil A drive through one day when a lady stopped the line for a good ten minutes (WOAH lady!) insistent on ordering a cheeseburger and angry at our friend from withholding one from her…. Yep, I’ve heard those Chick Fil A secret menu burgers are delicious. 🍔 😂
2- I went to intern at an Anglican church over the summer as a teen and during the first service I attended I did not realize they used real wine for communion and was super overwhelmed by the taste. Fortunately, rather than spitting it back on the robes of the guy serving, I just ran down the aisle and caused a scene on my way to the bathroom to spit it out. 🙄
3- The phrase “don’t cry over spilt milk” was not coined for toddlers… Not only will they cry over their spill, they’ll want you to put the liquid on the floor back in to their cup and cry when you can’t do that. Then they’ll ask for a napkin to clean it up and cry when you give it to them.
4- Hello, my name is picky toddler and you killed my appetite (by bringing me food I liked yesterday) prepare for me NOT to dine!
School:
One of my favorite stories to tell people about teaching is how similar Pre-K is to middle school. I mean, you’re learning how to appropriately communicate and interact with each other all over again. Your bodies are constantly changing and growing which makes controlling your limbs at all times difficult. And when you get hangry- watch out world. Try to guess which of these complaints are middle school and which are pre-school…
1- I think we missed naptime… we should go back to that!
2- This is too hard! It’s impossible teacher!
3- I looked and I still can’t find it (when it’s literally right in front of them)
4- “What were the instructions I just gave you?” “I don’t remember…”
5- I need to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW (said five seconds after a break)
6- When answering the prompt- how was your Thanksgiving?- “It was great because Godzilla came over, but my mom kicked him out after he broke the trampoline and set the house on fire”
7- Wait, we actually have to read the reading assignment to find the answers?!?!
1- middle school, nap time is wasted on pre-schoolers who don’t want it but need it. 2-5 were heard multiple times in both middle school and pre-school. 6- One of my four yr olds told me this! And finally 7- heard multiple times throughout the year in middle school by the language arts teacher.
Safety:
We all want to be safe… well, except for toddlers. They would like to explore, run naked and free, and wear their winter coats in 85 degree weather mom- geez!
1- “We need to look both ways and walk across the street?” “Um, if the cars aren’t always looking out for us, shouldn’t we always run across the street?” Touche kid….
2- When my niece started crawling I didn’t have the outlets covered and she stuck something in one. So we went to the store to get outlet covers. After I covered them she spent a good fifteen minutes sitting in front of a covered outlet cry yelling at me for ruining what was obviously her new favorite game in the whole world.
3- I think my kid takes safety features as a personal challenge. Like ‘oh, you buckled me into this shopping cart? I must find a way to undo it or mark my words I will slip out of it and stand up the second you look away!’
4-
Pets:
Pets, we love them. And yet they also drive us nuts.
1- It’s ironic how dogs like to bark at every little thing that passes by the door or house like it’s going to hurt us or them when the barking drives us way more insane than any robber or leaf on a rampage ever could.
2- We’re pretty sure that squirrels were actually created by cats to distract dogs while they bide their time until they take over the world…
3- This was our dog yesterday… “I don’t always bark in the middle of the night, but when I do it will be wildly and for no apparent reason at all”
Have a funny story to share? Drop it in the comments below!
Check out the past editions of Side Split Saturday
–Volume 1
–Volume 2
–Volume 3
–Volume 4
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