Has 2020 Been Tough on Your Communication Skills? Authentic Conversations Book Review

Has 2020 Been Tough on Your Communication Skills? Authentic Conversations Book Review written by the Elf on 9/21/2020 This post contains affiliate links, you can find out more on our policies page or in the disclaimer at the bottom of the blog.

Know Before You Read Authentic Conversations:

Book: Authentic Conversations: Unlocking Your Ability to Connect with Others
Author: Abigail and Scott Doust
Genre:  Christian Self-Help, Communication and Social Skills
Pages: 133
Published: July 2020
Age Suggestion: 15+
Topic/Themes: Conversation, Coaching, Social Skills, Religious Counsel

Authentic Conversations Quick Summary:

We all long for real, authentic connections. If only it were quick and not painful! In this book, the authors walk us through what vulnerable and honest conversations look like. How to practically navigate the time and pain points in relationships. Especially when you are in a position of authority, like a coach or teacher. They break down common conversation myths. While also giving you practical tools to start actively listening and genuinely communicating today.

2020 has been a rough year for a lot of people and it certainly has tested our communication skills. This is a timely read that can be a great refresher for those that are already great active listeners. As well as a wonderful stepping stone for those of us who are still learning that social skill.

Authentic Conversations Review: 

  

–Why Read It- 

Christianity is highly relational. One of the most basic elements of Christian doctrine is that God is three in one and has existed in relationship for eternity. In our society and western church structure, we often do not place enough of an emphasis on true relational community. This book helps address this need and gives churches (and individuals) specific conversational tools to build better relationships.

The book is written on a lay level and provides 7 specific skills. These build upon each other to provide a comprehensive framework. Within each Abigail and Scott Doust also addres the myths that tend to hold us back from diving into deeper discussion.

In a society that values social media and sound bites, and has little use for truly listening, churches and individual Christians need to use all the tools available to learn to communicate better. Authentic Conversations takes the author’s deep experience in this and provides a great tool to help develop these skills. 

-Structure-

Authentic Conversations is written in 9 very easy to read chapters. The chapters are further broken up into sections which makes it super easy to use as a resource to come back and reference.

*2 Introductory Chapters
*7 Key Points for Growing Your Communication Skills

-Content-

This is absolutely a Christian and Bible based book. You cannot cut or skip over those aspects of the book and have it still make sense.

The main theme of the book is conversation and communication, focusing specifically on coaching/mentoring skills.

The book goes over 7 Essential Conversational Keys:
*Hearing Someone’s Problem
*Actively Listening
*Refraining from Fixing
*Building a Relationship
*Asking Appropriate Questions
*Being Intentional
*Trust the Process

Authentic Conversations Discussion Questions/ Book Study Resource:

There are several discussion questions within the book itself. Chapter 7 is all about learning to ask questions! And will be a great resource to refer back to. We hope that these discussion questions are useful for you if you decide to do an Authentic Conversations book study with your team- which we highly recommend! If an official study guide is put out we will link it here!

Intro: Ch 1-2 of the Authentic Conversations Book

1. Have you noticed that you have a tendency to pull away, specifically from church relaitonships, when things are hard? Have you seen this in a small group setting?
2. How can we help heal each others church wounds? What’s one way to gently reach out to someone who has left the church?
3. Take a few minutes and make a web of all the people you regularly have a conversation with in a given week. Make a secondary web of people you have surface conversations or interactions with. (A child’s teacher, cashier, co-worker on a different team, etc…)
4. How does our relationship with God impact all of the others? Do you notice the direct impact in your own relationships?

Key Points Section 1: Ch 3-5 of the Authentic Conversations Book

1. It’s so easy to assume that people have a relationship with God. What’s one open ended question you can use in conversations where you are bringing this up?
2. How can we determine what is a wedge issue and what’s a central issue?
3. What’s a phrase you can repeat in your head to remind you not to overshare, fix, or fill silence?
4. Do you think of yourself as an effective listener?

Key Points Section 2: Ch 6-7 of the Authentic Conversations Book

1. Pick one question from chapter 7 and practice a conversation with someone in the group using the active listening method.
2. What’s one specific way you can avoid giving advice when you should be actively listening?
3. What are practical ways that we can help heal wounds and start conversations with the Bible instead of just using scripture as a bandaid to end a conversation?
4. Share a time you experienced being silenced or hurt with scripture or spiritually trite phrases if you feel comfortable doing so. (EG: Sharing your anxiety with a friend who told you just to stop worrying because the Bible tells us not to fear)

Key Points Section 3: Ch 8-9 of the Authentic Conversations Book

1. Share with the group a healthy boundary that you have in place that’s working.
2. If you do not have boundaries in place, make a plan for what they should be and how you want to communicate them. How will you respond if a boundary is broken?
3. Consider the healthy habits mentioned- which one stuck out to you the most and why?
4. What programs or professionals do you have personal experience with? Share with the group so everyone can grow their list of local resources.
5. Since you began this book, have you noticed a change in your conversations? Is there one specific area that you need to lean into more?

What Next?:

Check out the books that were mentioned in Authentic Conversations.

–The Emotionally Healthy Church by Peter Scazzero
–Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
–Move by Greg Hawkins and Cally Parkison
–Christian Coaching by Gary Collins
–Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves

Find Resources from the authors on their Youtube channel and Facebook Page.

Check out one of these other posts before you go!

-5 Lessons on communication from Narnia!

-Our review and book study for Trent Shelton’s Book Straight Up: Honest, Unfiltered, As-Real-As-I-Can-Put-It Advice for Life’s Biggest Challenges!

-Lessons we picked up from Brene Brown’s Netflix special The Call to Courage

-Our review and book study for Rev. Brenda Salter McNeil’s book Becoming Brave: Finding the Courage to Pursue Racial Justice Now

-How birdwatching changed the way this scholar reads the Bible.

Down The Hobbit Hole Blog and this Authentic Conversations Book Review use affiliate links. We only link products we think you’ll like. So, you are never charged extra for them. As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you. We also use cookies to gather analytics and present advertisements. This allows us to keep writing discussion questions and telling ridiculous dad jokes. Also, find our other reviews with discussion questions here. Our posts about faith here. Lastly, our posts about family stuff here.