5 Interesting lessons from the Harry and Meghan Documentary to Discuss Together post by the Elf. This post contains affiliate links, you can find out more on our policies page or in the disclaimer at the bottom of the blog.
I’ve been following news about the royal family much like any other American who is obsessed with Hallmark movies. But just like with these cheesy rom coms, news is a very skewed picture of real life. When the Harry and Meghan documentary was announced I knew I would be interested. What I did not expect was to binge it all so quickly and want to re-watch parts of it! Also I was not expecting to find a whole bunch of important lessons that should be discussed.
The Harry and Meghan documentary offers us a glimpse inside the couples stories, as they see it. But also offers an explanation of why they left royal duties behind. Why their boundaries have cause rifts with others. And highlight the importance and concerns about a humanitarian crisis that demands our attention. Harry’s biography ‘Spare‘ will be released in the US on January 10th.
5 Lessons from the Harry and Meghan Documentary
1) “It’s not about who you trust, but who they trust.”
This quote from Harry totally blew my mind. I’m currently learning a lot about boundaries and I think this is a super important lesson. You have to be careful who you trust with sensitive or private information. And it’s important to remember that who you trust might trust someone else that you do not. For example: If they shared their travel schedule with a good friend, and that friend shared with their trusted friend or parent about it- that other friend or parent now knows too. But secondhand.
That chain can extend for a long time and not everyone should be privy to your pain or your schedule. You do not owe everyone an explanation for everything. This is not a reason to be paranoid for us, but a reason to think before you speak. And a reason to have compassion towards public figures who do have reason to be paranoid about it. It was so sad to see this play out in the Harry and Meghan documentary, but also encouraging to see how they have managed to build community and boundaries for themselves and their kids.
Lessons from the Harry and Meghan Documentary to discuss:
What boundaries do you have around who you trust with your information? What about with the information you share online?
2) Unconscious bias is not something you discover once, but a lifelong examination.
And a lot of it involves examining biases from how you grew up. Realizing you have unconscious bias is not something that comes naturally. When we are not aware that we have bias, discussing it can feel really uncomfortable. Our western culture is steeped in racism and a racist past, so it’s something we do have to learn and discuss. When we are made aware of our biases, we are able to be more compassionate and humanize more people. Everyone struggles with this, but not everyone is aware of it.
Lessons from the Harry and Meghan Documentary to discuss:
How do you examine your own bias? Racially, economically, with other aspects that divide people? How can we have conversations about this, even when it’s uncomfortable?
3) Cyclical poverty and wealth
This is another section that really surprised me, but it shouldn’t have. Cyclical poverty and wealth go hand in hand. Especially in capitalist societies. But there has been both wealth and poverty that have been created by and exasperated by the royal family but also by Britain’s class systems and wealth divides. The impacts of stolen wealth are still felt.
And although the abolition of slavery was emphasized educationally, many didn’t know that slave owners were so well compensated and how that financial impact was still so big even in the 2000’s. The Commonwealth is growing and changing. It does not have the same meaning to everyone. Much of the Commonwealth’s countries have intergenerational poverty issues because of the British empire. This needs to be something that is discussed as the relationship evolves.
Lessons from the Harry and Meghan Documentary to discuss:
How do you and I contribute to those cycles of wealth and poverty? How can reparations’ start to be made? How can we help break cyclical poverty?
4) What is said online matters
In the Harry and Meghan documentary, they talk about media abuse warping and changing over time. Now you can be stalked by paparazzi still, but you can also be stalked and abused online. And it’s not limited to famous people. Capitalism and a growing social media presence are an incredibly dangerous combination. The best example of this from the documentary is when people who had worked with or known Meghan were offered thousands of dollars to fabricate stories and give up pictures.
But the most impactful one is when Meghan talks about being depressed and so consistently berated online and in person. Not just being racially profiled and attacked, but being villainized for everything- even how she would hold her baby bump. What we say online matters. It does not matter if it is about a person we will never meet. And what is said online, who we follow, the ads we see- it all impacts our thinking.
Lessons from the Harry and Meghan Documentary to discuss:
How can we change our little corners of social media for the better? How can we hold each other accountable for what we post and say online? I like to think about whether or not I would be OK with my preschooler, my boss, and my grandmother reading what I post. Do you have a rule or thought process before you post?
The Social Dilemma: The documentary about how social media impacts our life on Netflix
5) Misinformation and the anger tabloid machine is a humanitarian crisis.
Anger and sensationalism sell papers, clickbait gets more views. And when that is the business model, how does that change what journalism even is? How do you navigate what is and is not a trustworthy source? There were professionals who talked in episode 5 of the documentary about the power and damage of hateful misinformation. And it’s scary how much power and influence a handful of people can wield online. There are violent trends, racial attacks, there have been political coups, and a wave of health misinformation during a world health crisis all from online spaces that have real life impacts. What happens online is real and the way things are trending has humanitarian impacts that will be felt for decades.
Lessons from the Harry and Meghan Documentary to discuss:
How can we hold the media accountable? How can we change what we consume to impact the money flow put towards the media? How can we make sure that those around us and our kids know that what happens online has offline consequences?
Keep reading for our biggest takeaway from the Harry and Meghan documentary on Netflix.
The Biggest Takeaway from the Harry and Meghan Documentary For Me
I did not know that leaving their royal duties behind was not what Harry and Meghan had set out to do originally, so that was really surprising. But that was not the thing that stuck out to me the most. The biggest takeaway from the Harry and Meghan documentary is this, mental health care is so stigmatized and out of reach that it is as difficult for a princess to access it as it is for someone with no or little insurance or financial independence. And even if you do have insurance and financial independence, it’s still not an easy thing to find and get started with. It should not be this way.
Posting memes and hotline numbers is something, but that doesn’t cut it. If we are really going to care for our communities and friends while they are in need of mental health care we need to demand that it be more accessible. And while calling for that, figuring out one or two things we can do to help a friend that’s struggling. We have been deeply grieving this year and I can’t overstate the impact of random text messages and people bringing us food.
Lessons from the Harry and Meghan Documentary to discuss:
How can you demand more accessible mental healthcare? Who can you reach out to this week? What’s one thing you can do for your own mental health?
What was your biggest takeaway from the Harry and Meghan documentary?!
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