15 Action Steps You Can Take TODAY After Watching the Social Dilemma

The Social Dilemma Review by the Elf on 9/30/20
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What to Know Before You Stream The Social Dilemma:

Movie: The Social Dilemma
Rating: PG-13
Age Suggestion:  15+ or anyone who has a smartphone
Running Time: 2 hours
Release Date: September 9th, 2020
Genre: Documentary/ Drama
Themes: Responsibility, Mental Illness, Big Tech, Social Media, Phones, Ethics, Fake News, Addiction, Engagement
Warnings: This is a documentary of whistle-blowers explaining why they are concerned about the things they helped create, namely social media. It’s intense and emotional. There are discussions about depression and suicide rates as well as their fears for the future. It will not be a positive watch for everyone. But we still highly recommend it as a very important watch for most.

The Social Dilemma Quick Summary:

The Social Dilemma documentary exposes some of what we already know- things like social media being addictive. But it also reveals a lot of what is behind that. It reminds us that nothing is ever really free and encourages us to really engage. Engage more with real conversation, with what our kids are consuming, and in holding big tech accountable. The Social Dilemma is a must watch not only because it shares so much information with us, but because they give you hopeful steps to take.

5 Action Steps From the End of The Social Dilemma:

These are things that the people interviewed do themselves and suggest others do as well! Most of these things were said during the credits. (In no particular order)

Step 1) Remove ALL of your notifications

“We were not built to experience social approval being dosed to us every five minutes.”

The Social Dilemma

I did not think that this was really impacting me. I started with Facebook and my usage dropped slightly. When I took away my e-mail pop-ups- WOW! It made such a difference! I can’t believe how hooked I was to checking just the lock screen every few minutes.

Step 2) Delete apps that are big time wasters

Figure out what you are using as a digital pacifier and which apps you are using to procrastinate and cut the chord!

“We’re training a whole generation that when they are lonely or anxious, or afraid- we have a digital pacifier for ourselves that is atrophying our own ability to deal with it.”

The Social Dilemma

Step 3) Have a NO DEVICES in the bedroom policy

We started this a couple of weeks ago. I couldn’t believe the difference it made in the first week. I was reading more, my mood in the morning was better. But then I slipped back into the habit.

Step 4) Limit and engage with your kids social media.

We go into this more later, but it’s not just about nagging them or taking them away from their digital community. But about really engaging with them. Also speak up about needing regulation on advertisements for digital children’s programming. Most kids watch Youtube now more than TV.

“We’ve created a world in which online connection has become primary, especially for younger generations. And yet, in that world, any time two people connect, the only way it’s financed is through a sneaky third person who is paying to manipulate those two people. So, we’ve created an entire global generation of people who were raised within a context where the very meaning of communication, the very meaning of culture is manipulation. We’ve put deceit and sneakiness at the absolute center of everything we do.”

Jaron Lenier- The Social Dilemma

Step 5) Have regular family discussions about it.

Set screen time budgets together and schedule check in’s. And don’t let it drop after a couple of week. We need to be having conversations about what we’re seeing online, what we’re watching, and how much we are consuming.

The documentary highlighted that hospitalizations and suicide rates for pre-teens and teens because of depression and anxiety has skyrocketed. We can’t ignore that. We need to not only be able to make sure this is not happening with out own kids, but make sure they know what to look for with their friends and how to tell an adult.

Discussing it more with a roommate, accountability partner, or spouse can make a world of difference. Just because we are adults does not make us immune.

*Keep reading for more Social Dilemma action steps*

5 More Action Steps We’re Taking After Watching the Social Dilemma:

Step 1) Setting time limits on all my social media apps

I’ve done this for a couple of weeks and want to note 2 things. 1) They give you the option to override the time limit when you’ve hit it. 2) Just knowing the amount of time I’m on has significantly reduced my scrolling time and generally increased my positivity.

Step 2) Engage with my kids every day about their screen time and media.

This is SO MUCH MORE than just reminding them about time limits and addiction. A huge part of why we exist is to help people engage in healthy discussions about the books and movies we’re watching together. We also need to be engaged in conversations over other types of media. This documentary enforces the idea that our kids whole community is online. I DO NOT want to take that away from them, but I do want to be involved and know what they are consuming, hearing and saying about it.

Step 3) Following people I disagree with and acknowledging that I am being manipulated online.

I’m not following people I disagree with on huge issues, aka- things I do not want to support. Not that are disrespectful and dehumanizing. But I want to consciously diversify my news feed a little more.

And acknowledging that so much is being manipulated by advertisers has been really helpful and eye opening.

Step 4) Accountability. Or SMART goals.

I started a couple of these a few weeks back and then slipped back into old habits. Personally, I need accountability to keep me going on these. So I made some SMART goals. If you aren’t familiar with those, it’s an acronym for a goal that is (S) specific, (M) measurable, (A) attainable, (R) realistic and (T) time based. What are your goals going to be and who is going to keep you accountable?

Step 5) We’ve set clear house rules around tech.

Some of them are…

*Time limits for screens, with exceptions for things like family movies.
*All passwords in our house are public property. I can see your email, you can see mine. I can see your FB messages, you can see mine.
*No phones in the bedroom (Which means we got new alarm clocks).
*If you can’t discuss it, it’s not allowed. If you can’t talk about it in front of grandma, why are you spending your precious time on it?

5 Ways to Start Making a Difference After Watching the Social Dilemma:

After watching this, I did not just want to enact limitations in my own house, but figure out ways to start making an impact.

Step 1) Acknowledge that it is a problem and talk about it.

Remember that we vote with and influence with our clicks. This is good to remember for small businesses too- the social media algorithms work against them unless they are paying to advertise, so it’s super useful for friends, family, and loyal customers to like (especially heart) and share their content. It’s also yet another reason NOT to click on clickbait. We don’t want to encourage more of it.

“The manipulation by third parties that we are seeing is not a hack. The Russians didn’t hack facebook. What they did was they used the tools that Facebook created for legitimate advertisers and legitimate users, and they applied it to a nefarious purpose.”

The Social Dilemma

Step 2) Choose your own!

Pick your own next video. Stop mindlessly scrolling through Tik Tok, Youtube, Facebook and more. Be intentional about what you are watching and know how long it is. Also ALWAYS consider the source, who is telling the story, and consider if you have any perspective on the story.

Step 3) Use a private search engine like Qwant or SwissCows

These both utilize Bing searches, and there are plenty of private search engines out there. These both are well resected for not collecting any information on the user, so they aren’t manipulating what you see by location and what you might be interested in.

Step 4) Stop it with the emotionally charged clickbait.

Don’t fall for it. Also be VARY wary of engaging with anything that dehumanizes people or puts them into mass category groups.

Step 5) Don’t be afraid of the news and media- but FACT CHECK. We are responsible for what we engage in and with.

It can be tempting to fall into the camp of ‘everything’s a conspiracy theory and it’s all out to get us’. But I really think that the documentary did a good job highlighting the fact that this is a business model and that we can change it, and we can fact check and NOT share dehumanizing content! 🙂

“The way that technology works is not a law of physics. It is not set in stone. These are choices that human beings like myself have been making. And human beings can change those technologies. We built these things and we have a responsibility to change it…

The attention extraction model is not how we want to treat human beings. The fabric of society depends on us getting off of this corrosive business model. We can demand that these products be designed humanely. We can demand to not be treated as an extractabble resource. The intention could be “How do we make the world better?”.”

The Social Dilemma

Final thoughts on The Social Dilemma:

It’s easy to watch something like this and get sucked into the doom and gloom. Easier to watch it, be startled, and get sucked back into our phones without ever changing anything. But, as Bethany Hamilton is fond of saying “I don’t need easy, I just need possible”. And it is possible to take positive action steps today. To engage in more real conversation today. To set a timer on our own screen time today. I really appreciated that the end was all about positive action steps. And I certainly needed to be reminded of the dangers of spending too much time on my phone and social media and the psychology behind it! Thank you, The Social Dilemma.

If you enjoyed this post, please take a minute to share it. (Yes, I acknowledge that it’s weird to ask you to share something on social media after watching this doc.)

Check out these books by some of the people that were interviewed in the documentary: (plus one that I’m considering reading next)
*I have not personally read any of these yet*

You also might find some of our other posts interesting:

-Brene Brown’s Netflix Special- The Call to Courage

-From 0-6 years old: Including Diversity at Home

-Walking through the movie Just Mercy with your teens

-Radioactive: The Marie Curie Biopic

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