10 Questions to ask besides “How was your day?” + 5 Parenting conversation hacks…

10 Questions to ask besides “How was your day?” +5 parenting conversation hacks
Written by the Elf

Life Fixtures

Some things are fixtures in our lives. They stand the test of time from childhood into adulthood. The love of ice cream, the joy of laughter, the never-ending cycle of laundry and dishes.

Also the question “How was your day?”.

It is absolutely a blessing to have someone care about how your day has gone. At the end of a long day of school or work we typically have some emotional, physical, and decision fatigue going on and likely are not in a mood to elaborate.

This is why it’s often suggested that kids take a quick snack and rest break after school. It’s why so many adults have subconscious habits that blow off a little steam after work. A particular music station, particular snack, a dedicated time of relaxing, calling someone, etc.

All this to say that right after school or work may not be the best time to ask your partner or children these questions. If you are going to, you should at least start on a lower level of conversation, like exchanging facts or a funny story.

10 Deeper Questions

Here are 10 deeper questions that you can ask the people you live with (or your best friends) instead of “How was your day today/ What did you do today?”

1) Did anything make you laugh today? Did you make anyone laugh?

2) What was the happiest moment of the day?

3) Did something make you feel stressed or worried today?
(You can follow this one with, “Are your shoulders tense? Lets do some shoulder rolling and neck stretches together” orrrr a shoulder massage but I’m not hinting or anything)

4) Pick three words that describe your day.
(if you have a kiddo that’s particularly difficult to communicate with, or likes giving one word answers, this is a good starting point.)

5) How can I help you this afternoon/tonight?

6) Were there any God moments, little or big, that you’d like to share with me from this week?

7) Did you help anyone today or did anyone help you?

8) What’s one interesting thing you learned this week.

*If you know someone had a bad day and they don’t really want to discuss it, try some less serious conversation starters like…*

9) Fun “Would you rather” questions or “This or that” questions. If you’re stuck on where to start on these, do a quick google search to jump start your ideas.

10) If you woke up tomorrow with no responsibilities and endless funds, what would you do? Where would you go?

5 Conversation hacks for parents:

1) Create a safe space. This is my favorite new piece of awesome parenting advice I’ve absorbed. One of my mom friends uses a restaurant right next to their house as their “safe space”. Of course, our kid’s choices usually have natural consequences, but anything her kids tell her at the restaurant have no consequences (instituted) by her. She’s had some great conversations there with her kids that she might not have had otherwise.  Ensure that everyone has a safe space in your house as well. Somewhere they can dream or retreat to when they are overwhelmed.

2) Be a sensitive listener instead of trying to rush the story or fix the problem. Learn the art of saying, “Tell me more about that!” It’s painful getting through that first ‘let me tell you a story’ phase of pre-school, or listening to them count to 100 eight thousand times, but that’s important to them and you’re building their trust. Another great thing to remember with kids and adults is that you don’t earn confidant points by laughing at someone’s idea, dream or struggle if they aren’t laughing too.

3) Non verbal cues are everything. Great conversations usually don’t happen when you’re on your phone, or doing chores or work that the other person isn’t doing right alongside of you. This is one of my weaknesses, my social anxiety makes me want to fidget with something when I’m having big conversations.

4) There has to be a level of clear transparency with your kids. Let them see you being honest with them, apologizing and exemplifying the behaviors you’re trying to get them to display and imitate.

5) Play, create and read together. You reach a different level of communication when you are actively engaged in something creative that requires your undivided attention. We talk about what a great thing it is to read together in this blog. I still read things with my husband, or listen to the same podcasts so that we can discuss them. Our defenses are lower when we’re playing, relaxed and having fun.

If you liked this 10 questions to ask instead of “How was your day” blog you might enjoy our posts about the Netflix Brene Brown Special, You Vs. Wild (an interactive adventure), or our post on building or loving community.

Down The Hobbit Hole Blog and this 10 questions to ask instead of post use affiliate links, we only link products we think you’ll like and you are never charged extra for them. As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you. We also use cookies to gather analytics and present advertisements. This allows us to keep writing discussion questions and telling ridiculous dad jokes. Find our other reviews with discussion questions here. Our posts about faith here. And our posts about family stuff here.

Let us know what your favorite parenting conversation hacks are!! Or if there are questions you use that work really well besides “How was your day?