What do star fish and the star spangled banner have in common exactly? Read on to find out!
My toddler gets into everything now. Everythingggg. Yesterday while I was grabbing a comb to help pull her hair up, she started grabbing things off of a shelf in my room. Usually she takes down my bracelets or knocks my little box of earrings to the floor… Why, oh why have I not moved that yet?! But today she grabbed a little ornamental jewelry box that I’ve had for too many years to count. It has little things that I collected through middle school and high school in it that I haven’t Marie Kondo-d yet.
I very quickly extracted several pointy things from the box. (Toddler parenthood has for sure sharpened my ninja skills… not to the point where I feel like I could actually compete on Ninja Warrior mind you, but we’re getting there!) What was left in the box surprised me. A broken key chain from my parents trip to Europe, a seashell from a missions trip, a little carved flower, and a star fish. I couldn’t immediately recall why the star fish was in there but my little one hung on to that star fish for most of the morning and eventually it came back to me. During a volunteer appreciation event and training was the first time I had heard the parable of the Star Fish. We were all given star fish to take home as a reminder of the story. Years later, that story still really inspires me.
The Star Fish
The story has been adapted many times over the years from an essay by Loren Eiseley. Here’s the general gist; early one morning an older man is walking along the seashore after a storm. He comes upon a little boy who is throwing a starfish back into the sea. The old man tells the boy that he might as well stop, he won’t be able to make much of a difference because there are miles of washed up starfish on the beach. “I made a difference for that one.” The boy responded as he threw another star fish back into the ocean.
Why is it so simple for us to get overwhelmed by a big picture and either give up or forget about the little things that we need to keep doing to get there? Problems seem so huge and solutions don’t seem as big. And while that is still a very inspiring story, my mind quickly wanders to sympathy for the hundreds of star fish that won’t make it back into the ocean instead of celebrating the salvation of the few. Some would call that foreboding joy (looking at you Brene Brown, I hear you and it’s something I am actively working on!). When we’re so focused on the larger picture though, it makes it easier to get bitter and not be as thankful for or as celebratory of the small things. I was going to specifically write about ministry but I feel like this is applicable to every aspect of our lives.
The 1 Minute Rule
In my pursuit of trying to reclaim a grateful spirit (and declutter) I came across Gretchin Rubin. During a podcast interview she said something that has totally changed my daily routine. If something takes less than a minute to do, do it right then and there. Put the cup up now, respond to that text now and never leave a room empty-handed. Even thankfulness- practice it in that moment. As an avid procrastinator this has totally rocked my world.
Often I get so caught up in the picture of what I want something to look like that I have a hard time starting it. Or I’ll get so overwhelmed by the list of chores that I start something else entirely. Tackling things in small, one minute increments though? That’s doable!! Starting things in small timed increments has helped me to be a lot more pro-active and it’s a little harder for me to get discouraged now than it was before because all the little increments of productivity are worth celebrating.
The 5 Minute Difference
I got to thinking about what simple relational tasks I was avoiding that would take me five minutes or less. Like writing a couple of thank you notes every day, giving my best friend five minutes of undivided attention, or meditating on scripture or gratefulness for a few extra minutes in the middle of the day. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much I unintentionally avoid.
Like today for example, my husband and daughter struck up a conversation with our neighbors when we were doing yard work outside. Instead of joining them, I moved to the side a little and kept working. “I don’t want to talk to anyone right now, I’m busy!”, “I would not even wear these pants into Walmart and they’re dressed up- I can’t talk to them dressed like this!”, “I’m such an introvert, I can’t be expected to participate in frustrating small talk while I’m focused on something”. The excuses were plenty. But my neighbor didn’t see my excuses, she saw that yard work was more important to me than stopping for a second to talk back to her and her kids. Ouch. That’s certainly not what I wanted to imply. It would have taken less than five minutes out of my work and would have been a positive point of connection. Those are easy to miss when we have our nose to the grind and aren’t looking for small, easy points of connections with others.
The Parallel Parable
All of that made me think of the parable of the good Samaritan from Luke 10. A beaten Jewish man lying on the side of the road and two people intentionally avoid him before the Samaritan stopped and took pity on him, even though the Samaritans and the Jews did not generally get along. The first two people always get so much flack for passing by, but I’m sure they had a million excuses. “Can’t rescue them all, headed to something important- helping many people” probably being very high on that list of excuses. Ideally it’s easy to say we identify with the Samaritan, but in daily practice, do we really? Or are we so busy with our own missions that we can’t be bothered enough to stop and see small points of connection we might be missing.
So, I’m challenging myself to step outside of my comfort zone a little every day and put forth five minutes of extra effort into a relationship or an unseen kindness. Something that has nothing to do with my to do list for the day. The excuses are plentiful! We all have a lot going on though. Sure, it looks different, but everyone has a full plate. The trick I’m looking for is how to stop a second and share with someone that I usually would just pass by. Because there is a lot of beauty in stopping to throw a star fish back in to the ocean. Even though I work primarily with children (whom this statement was made about), it’s still easy for me to forget that Jesus says to serve the least of these. Which means I need to intentionally slow down and figure out what or who I’m overlooking.
I don’t want to get so consumed with my big picture to do lists that I miss building up relationships along the way, or that I miss the urging of the spirit to do small, unseen, significant acts of kindness.
The Star Spangled Banner
I think a lot about parenthood, ministry, fostering, and public servants because those are the rings I’m plugged into. However, there are public servants that might only get a very small amount of connection time with their families because they are serving our country. Military families sacrifice so much for our freedoms and they have a tendency to get pushed to the background. It’s not always easy remembering to say thank you or knowing how to. But regardless of what your political views are, I hope we all can be thankful that our freedoms are protected by our brave brothers and sisters who are sacrificing for us.
Since we are celebrating July 4th– and will be all weekend- here is a week’s worth of ways you can serve a member of the military or their family that will only take about five minutes.
1)Write a letter
(Or help a child write a letter). For guidelines and how/where to send it check out AMillionThanks.org or OperationGrattitude.com
2) Donate
$10 to help a military kiddo go to summer camp through Operation Purple Camp. Or donate to the Warrior Support Team which helps connects military families to helpful services, in this case $10 can buy a meal for an injured veteran.
3) Replace one of your porchlights, or a lamp near a window, with a green lightbulb. Check out more about the greenlight a vet project here.
4) Send dog treats to the K9 service dogs!
How fun is this, pick up a package of treats for the pets in your life and one for a service dog. Find more info at Support our Troops. org
5) Educate yourself and your kids.
Take a few minutes to do some research about how to properly handle flags before you hang them. See if you remember the pledge of allegiance and talk to your kids about what it means to you.
6) Shop!
Business Insider put together a list of the 100 most military friendly companies. That hire or support military members and their families in multiple ways. You can find that here. If you do not already have an amazing non-profit you support with Amazon Smile, consider supporting a charity that helps the military! There are so many wonderful ones to choose from! Even if you do already support a charity with your Amazon purchases- consider switching to a veteran charity for the week!
How do you make time for points of connection or small acts of kindness? Have an act of kindness that takes less than five minutes?! Share it below….
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