An Adoptive Family’s Review and Discussion Guide for the movie Instant Family

An Adoptive Family’s Review of Instant Family + Instant Family Discussion Guide -Written by the Elf and the Ent
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An Adoptive Family’s Review of Instant Family + Discussion Guide

Some Background on Us:

We are an adoptive family who fosters and has completed one adoption in the state of Texas. We are hoping we can bring a unique perspective with our Adoptive Family’s Review of Instant Family. As well as a review for other adoptive families.

To Know Before You Watch Instant Family:

Movie: Instant Family 
Rating: PG-13
Age Suggestion: Mature 13+
Running Time: 2 hrs
Release Date: November 16th, 2018
Stars: 5 out of 5 
Themes: Adoption, Foster Care, Family, Love
Trigger Warnings: Foster parents and adoptee’s should be aware that this movie could trigger some painful memories. There is also a lot of cussing and intense, emotional scenes which makes it inappropriate for a younger audience. We still suggest it- but suggest it with caution. Read a full summary if you are unsure. 

Quick Summary of Instant Family:

As an adoptive momma, I was a little wary of this movie. But it was absolutely brilliant! This movie is relatable, funny, tear jerking and heartwarming. It gives an honest look at one family’s journey through the foster care system to a forever family in a serious and hysterical way. It’s not so thorough as to be a documentary but walks through the gist of the process in a way that is not mocking it or ‘too Hollywood’. We were able to see it in a theater full of adoptive families and current foster parents and there was a whole lot of laughter and tears. We would highly suggest this movie to any parents, anyone interested in adoption or foster care, advocates, and anyone in need of some heartwarming laughter.  Go see it on a date night, with your girlfriends, a church group- just go see it!!!

 

Discussion Questions for Instant Family:

1- What moment or scene made you laugh the most? Did any of the scenes make you cry? 

2- Which of the kids did you relate to the most? Which of the adults?

3- Did anything in the process they had to go through to foster surprise or shock you?

4- Have you ever thought about fostering or adopting?

5- If you’ve ever been a foster parent, which of the scenes did you think was the most realistic and relatable? Any that you thought were not?

6-What redeeming qualities can you see or imagine in the kids birth mother? Did it surprise you that the goal of the foster system is to re-unify birth families?

7-In what ways did this story give you hope?

8-What was your reaction to how the extended family reacted to their adoption news? How would you respond if your sibling or best friend said they were going to foster?

9-How did the family experience racism and isolation?

10- Grandma Sandy says that she has Lizzy’s back in one scene and we later find out that she had not experienced a lot of that herself. Is there anyone outside of your family that has had your back and shown you unconditional love? Who do you show unconditional love to/ who’s back do you have? Have you encouraged them recently?

Adoptive Family’s Review of Instant Family

-One of the reasons we were excited about this movie is because of Mark Wahlburg’s interview on Jimmy Fallon.  (Also the veteran’s day episode- worth a watch!) He talked about how the movie was based off of the directors family in real life! He and his wife adopted three kiddos out of foster care and became an ‘instant family’. “So much of our family process has been bumbling and clumsy and frustrating and embarrassing. But that’s O.K. And that’s the message that I want to get out to people. More than anything, I’ve realized that so many people would do this- and would love doing it- if they just knew about it or understood it better.” That was what director Sean Anders said about making the movie, and we think he accomplished that! Here’s a short TODAY interview with the cast and director.

-This movie is SO, SO relatable! I’ve worked with hundreds of families over the years teaching and I understand that parenting is TOUGH! And loving a kiddo who has been through trauma, has special needs, has had a long hospitalization, or really has any extra struggles- that adds an extra hard layer to parenting. I don’t know any parents who have never experienced moments of doubt and fear that they might not be up for the task of parenting. We really think this movie will be encouraging for parents.

-The acting was SPECTACULAR! From the smallest actress to the award winning actresses, all were well cast and portrayed!! They worked so wonderfully together too!

But did they really show what it’s like?

-While the movie captured the general gist of the foster to adopt process, there were obviously some unrealistic points! Which is to be expected. The things that stuck out the most to us were that 1) every couple but one made it through the class, 2) every couple ended up with the first child they were placed with, and 3) the overall impact and trauma on the foster kiddos and the foster parents was downplayed in the movie. Our first adoption class had about twelve couples and this was not our experience. But we still thought that it was an excellent overview of the process. The struggles the movie covered, they covered well. But there are such a myriad of things that go into fostering and adoption that there is no way they could cover all of them.

-One of us was really not interested in seeing the movie at all, but by the end of the movie we both felt attached to all the characters, had cried, and laughed way more than we thought we would! We are excited to see it again!

Before You Go…

-There is a website that has been set up for this movie with excellent resources on how you can start your foster/adoptive journey, how you can help people and kiddos that are already on that path, and more information. You can find that website by clicking here at InstantFamily.org. Fostering is something that not every family is equipped to do, but everyone can do something! From donating to your local foster family closet to becoming a CASA advocate or providing respite care (babysitting) for foster families, there are a ton of ways to get involved!

-Check out our awesome affiliate partner- The Goods and Better store! Every purchase benefits foster families!

Check Out our Related Posts!

–Types of adoptions explained by superhero stories
–We’re fostering again, here’s how you can help!
-Our guide to the movie Just Mercy
-Lessons from Brene Brown’s Netflix special on courage.

We hope our adoptive family’s review of instant family was helpful!
Let us know what you thought of the movie! 

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